Miss Thing's passport photo was "too far away", so we had to get that taken again. Then we had to wait for an eternity to a 20-month-old for them to call our number a-la-DMV.
All in all the process was fairly painless, somewhat expensive, easier than I thought it would be and to top it all off Miss Thing and I should receive our new and renewed passports within a week if not sooner.
That's what I call expedited.
Russia, here we come!