August 23, 2006

The Mystery of the Missing Pass

where-in I turn all Nancy-Drew sans Ned Nickerson...

It is the wee hours of the night, and by that I mean that the wee ones are in bed sleeping. The time is actually more like 23:30 Yes, we are all a bunch of fuddy-duddies; living with wee ones can do that to you.

I creep stealthily into the room I am sharing with the rrawr-monster and slink into my bed so as not to wake her. Mission: Accomplished. Sleep arrives in minutes.

Fast-forward to the real wee hours of the night, as in 02:00-something, and I hear rrawr-monster sounds - the kind that mean she is awake, and oh, by-the-way something is amiss.

Being the child-less-for-now wonder that I am, I am UP! UP! UP! in an INSTANT! to assess the situation. First off, there is a need for the potty. No problem, I've dealt with this before, so off we go aaaaannnnd: success! Can I get a "whoop!" and a high-five, cause it is a b.i.g. deal when 'wee ones wee successfully' (say that 5 times, it's got a rhythm to it).

Accompany the rrawr-monster back to the bedroom, and snuggle her into bed for the sleep-time ritual wherein rrawr-monster says night-night to everything and gives them all a kiss. There's a kiss for the pooh-bear, a kiss for the blankies, a kiss-kiss here and a kiss-kiss get the idea.

We are almost done and auntie doesn't-really-know-what-she's-doing is therefore almost back to HER bed when GAH!!!!! the pass, it is MISSING!!!!! There is an immediate serious proclamation from the rrawr-monster: "I need my pass." which induces harried searching by auntie DRKWSD.

On the bed? Nope.

Under the covers? Negative.

Under the bed? Not that I can see.

Wrapped up in any of the assorted things-rrawr-monster-takes-to-bed-with-her? Nah.

Did we lose it on our excursion into potty-land, perhaps? No.

Okie-dokie. Now what? Ah-ha! I shall simply leave the confines of this room and search the apartment for another pass as I know that rrawr-monster has at least two! Pats-on-the-back to me for a solution. Out I go, with no light, and the search begins.

Immediately I am FOILED! You see, there are two wee-ones staying with us this week, and they both have a pass. Granted, rrawr-monster only gets hers for sleeping, as we are in the weaning stages, but still, two wee-ones makes for a multitude of pass choices. Do you see my dilemma? If you have or have taken care of wee-ones, you certainly do.

They each have their own, and yes rrawr-monster does too know which ones are hers, as she should. Unfortunately, I do not. Imagine that. Dismayed at the fact that I am simply going to have to find the original pass as well as the fact that rrawr-monster is beginning to think Mommy would be a better, most certainly more qualified, person to tackle this little problem (don't worry, I agree with her), I head back to the bedroom to ponder my choices.

After reassessment, I deduce that it simply must be under the bed somewhere, although from my preliminary (and secondary...and whatever you call the next few) scouting reports, it would appear that it has donned some camouflage and is taking this game s.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y. This does not bode well for my chances at finding it.

What is auntie-DRKWSD to do? Well, I put on my super-hero cape and my spelunking gear and dive right under that bed into the cavernous darkness lurking below. And let me tell you, I feared that I may never get out. I search long-ways, I look short-ways, I crawl on my belly all army-style and I can't find the pass. After an indeterminable amount of time I finally (FINALLY!) discover the problem: AN OBSTRUCTION!

What, pray tell, could possible be hampering my foray into the sleep-cave in this second bedroom of an apartment that we only rented for a week so we could enjoy the sand and the surf (and DO NOT forget the "poo(silent l)" and it's chlorinated goodness)?!?!? Something that, had we known it was there we would have been using it: a guard-rail for wee-ones who sleep in big-girl beds.

Yes, the foreign-to-me world of the wee-ones strikes again.

Sidenote: at this point auntie-DRKWSD and rrawr-monster are both completely wide awake and rrawr-monster's confidence in me and my rescue abilities is about nil. Unabated, I forge ahead.

I, of little sleep and no experience, pull the guard-rail out from the bed, turning it and sliding it and oh, yeah! clanging it against the metal rails of the bed for good know, JUST IN CASE we were getting sleepy. What do I see waaaaaaaaaaaay back there, barely visible to the naked eye, basking in its sleep-enhancing abilities? You've got it: pass.

Had I not been squished under the bed at this point, rrawr-monster would have been treated to an exceptional example of the victory-dance. Unfortunately, squished I was, and therefore I was only able to celebrate in my head. As you know, it is a big place (what with all of the closets, drawers, and don't forget the attic), and I had some killer choreography going. That is, until I remembered the sleep. So, approximately 3.5 seconds?

I commence doing the army-crawl backwards to get out of the sleep cave (so much more difficult than going forward), I shove the dern guard-rail back under the bed, and then, THEN, I let rrawr-monster know what a SILLY pass she has. I mean, hiding under the bed like that from us, what a silly pass!! Yeah...that is what I said...what I was thinking was not so wee-one-appropriate.

I manage to pull the bed away from the wall, because did I mention that the bed was shoved ALL THE WAY up against it so as to prevent any wee-ones from slipping through the cracks? It was. I pull it away, and then, oh! the lucky little rrawr-monster, she got to experience the thrill of sitting on the bed while auntie-DRKWSD flops herself prostrate on it (well, except for the one leg that had to go up in the air for balance), reaches into the cavernous darkness that is the sleep-cave, and TA-DAH! saves pass from inevitable doom.

Pass gets washed, kisses to all, and off to sleepy-time we go.
Crisis averted (hers), and rest achieved (ours).

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